The Todd Times: Our Living Accommodations at Camp

Dear guest,
Welcome to Hotel Wilderness. We are pleased that you have chosen to stay with us, regardless of how long your stay will be.

Rooms

We offer a variety of rooms in order to suit your specific needs. Currently available are our four person rooms, which include mats complete with blankets and sheets (if necessary) for your sleeping convenience. For larger parties we have three-room suites available, also complete with mats and bed coverings. All our rooms come placed on wooden platforms and under tarps in case of extreme flooding and/or torrential downpour.

Toilet

If, at any time during your stay, you desire to use the lavatory, john, pot, outhouse, toilet, or whatever you choose to call it, we have one for each gender available in a very inconvenient location. Each toilet room is designed with two holes (in case you desire to bring a friend) and comes equipped with mosquitoes, flies, moths, ants, spiders, and occasionally oversized bees. If you find yourself in need of toilet paper during your use of the loo, we do provide that accommodation free of charge. We do, however, suggest that you bring your own in case the toilet paper has accidentally fallen down the hole or been used up. It is also suggested that if you find it necessary to use the toilet after hours you supply your own lighting. If, at any time during your stay with us, you find yourself in need and too far from the lavatory, please to not worry yourself. There are plenty of trees and bushes available for your convenient relief.

Meals

We are proud to offer each of our guests a phenomenal array of culinary delicacies at each meal, as well as snacks and treats served straight from our army-style kitchen to our picnic-style dining room. All foods are included with the price of your stay. Breakfast is served daily at ten minutes till 9 a.m., lunch at 1 o’clock, and afternoon snack at 4:30, dinner at 6:30, and evening snack at 10 p.m. Each meal comes complete with a beverage. If you find yourself thirsty at any time in between meals, there are two communal cups by a water cooler located in the dining room as well as two hoses by the washer. If you are late for any meal or snack, just come to the kitchen and we will gladly provide you with something to munch on free of charge.

Pets

Pets are allowed, though not generally encouraged. We have been known to host a variety of animals including horses, cows, dogs, cats, and pet mice. If you do not have a pet, but would like one, we offer a menagerie of insects free of charge.

Laundry

For your convenience, we do provide a cold-water only washing machine free of charge, provided you bring your own soap and can read Korean. There is also a tub for hand washing, if you prefer. If you desire to dry your clothes there are many clotheslines provided throughout the hotel.

Shower

If you find your body odor unbearable (i.e. if another guest complains), we do offer gender specific shower rooms located by the washer. Hot water for the showers is available if you are willing to wait for a kitchen staff member to build a fire under the hot water heater.

Recreation

In the area of recreation we provide various sports equipment such as basketball, volleyball, soccer/football, baseball, shooting ranges, ropes course and swimming in the nearby river. Every morning we also will be leading you in calisthenics. We also provide musical instruments for your use if you desire. If you choose we offer courses in CPR, and the use of guns and martial arts.